


Reignite

by felixir (starryjikseu)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha is a famous rap group, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, ChanLix, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Single Parent Felix, also chan is called chris in this since they’re in australia, chan is lowkey a sugar daddy in this, felix is just trying his best, unedited because WE DIE LIKE MEN
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryjikseu/pseuds/felixir
Summary: Four years ago, Felix’s wife, Myeong, died after the birth of their son, Hyunae. Ten years ago, Chris left Australia for Korea. Fourteen years later, the two meet again in a quaint little shop on the north side of Sydney. Chris is determined to reignite the flame Felix’s heart once held; and Felix is determined to get his son to Korea, where his mother is buried.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is a struggling father with overdue bills, but at least Hyunae is here.

Felix hunched over the table, which was covered with overdue bills splattered with the marks of teardrops. His mind was absolutely scattered, hands gripping his hair from the roots onward, teeth gritting so hard his skull was shaking.

He’s hit rock bottom. The jagged edges of reality were cutting closer than he’d like, poking at his skin until it impaled him, tearing through flesh and bone like paper. He couldn’t stand it.

They’re going to take Hyunae away. He can’t afford that, not that he’s gotten this far. He’s almost there, nearly fucking there. He just needs a bit more money, money that’s supposed to go towards bills. Felix doesn’t care though, he’ll do whatever the fuck it takes for his child to see his mother. Even if it’s just her grave.

“Daddy, are you okay?” A small voice asks. He felt his heart shatter.

“Hey, buddy! What’re you doing out of bed?” The auburn-haired man asks, turning to his son with a smile, despite his tear-stained face.

“I heard you crying...Are you thinking of Mommy again?” Hyunae asks, his small hand landing on his father’s arm.

Felix breaks down then. Hyunae lets the man pull him into an embrace, his small arms wrapping around his father’s waist.

By the age of 25, Felix expected to have a ring on his finger, Myeong by his side, and his child clinging to his leg. He turned 25 last week. Only two of those things were accomplished.

Myeong died during childbirth four years ago, but she’d been sick for years. Felix was surprised she even made it through pregnancy, in all honesty. In fact, he was surprised she wanted to have a baby with her health deteriorating so quickly. She just sat next to him one day, held his hand and said, “I want to have a baby, and I’ll do whatever it takes. I want to be able to leave a mark here before I go.”

She had no idea what kind of mark she left. She hadn’t just left Hyunae like she meant. What she left was large, painful, but not regrettable; and it was permanently engraved into the flesh of Felix’s heart. He missed her gorgeous smile, her silky hair, her warm hands, her pretty voice, her intelligence, her determination.

He missed her.

“It’s okay, Daddy. She’s still here, remember? Do you remember what she told you?” Felix shakes his head, only because he wants to hear those words again. “She said she’d be here for you! And that you’re a great daddy and you’re doing amazing!” Hyunae smiles.

Felix ruffles his hair, “Thanks, Hyun. Why don’t we get you back to bed, buddy? You’ve got school tomorrow.”

The little boy nodded before Felix placed a kiss on his forehead, picking him up and placing him on his hip. Hyunae leaned onto his shoulder, rubbing his eyes with a small hand. Felix walks into the boy’s room, turning on his bedside lamp and carefully lays Hyunae down. The brunette curls into the bed and pulls his covers up to his chin. Felix kisses his forehead once more, “Do you need anything before I go?”

“Can you read one of Mommy’s books to me, please?” Hyunae asks, taking his father by surprise. They’d kept Myeong’s collection of books after she had passed, they were much too important to sell in a garage sale. The man nods and holds a finger up to say he’s going to be back in a minute. He quickly jogs to the living room, where her books and shelved and scans through titles. _Something less mature, please,_  he thinks. He doesn’t exactly want to read about Hazel and Augustus having sex in Amsterdam, or an evil clown who terrorizes a town every twenty-five years to his four-year-old son, yet Myeong’s reading taste was strong, per say.

He finally grabs a book by the name of _The Giver_ , which he knows is a children’s book from Myeong. It was the last one she read before she passed. A bookmark is still slotted in about a quarter way in. He refuses to take it out.

Felix jogs back to Hyunae’s room with a smile and lays on the small bed, pulling his son into his side and holding the book up with one hand.

  _“I_ _t was almost December and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No. Wrong word, Jonas thought. Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While shopping with Hyunae, Felix reconnects with an old friend from secondary school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that this story takes place in 2025, so, yeah.

     It’s not enough, Felix thought as he counted the money stored in his wallet. He needed to buy Hyunae a new coat, the one he had currently was beginning to get too small. Felix had thought about just giving the boy one of his, but he was built like Myeong, small framed. This meant that one: the coat would just slip right off because of his small shoulders compared to Felix’s broad ones, and two: he was just too small in general. Perhaps he wasn’t being fed enough.

The blonde-haired man looked over at the large jar sitting on the kitchen counter. A piece of paper was stuck to it, hearts and stars scribbled around the corners of the parchment. It was labeled ‘Mommy’s funds’, which Hyunae came up with. Only about half of it was filled so far.

Felix contemplated taking money out of it, biting his lip out of habit. He stood up and opened the jar, grabbing a few dollars from it before shutting it again. My son is much more important than any trip; Myeong would say the same thing, he thought.

 

***

 

Hyunae clung to Felix’s side as they walked through the bustling streets, his father placing a hand on his head as he guided him along. “Daddy, where are we going?” He asked, looking up at Felix.

“We’re going to get you a new coat, Hyun, the one you have on is getting a bit small.” The boy nods and leans his head against his father’s side again. Felix smiles as he feels small hands grab onto his jeans and cling with every step.

Soon enough they reach the store, and Felix holds open the door to let his son in first, following soon after. The store’s interior is mostly tile, making it chillier because of the chilly air outside. Hyunae shivers against his father’s side. Even though it’s 16 degrees out there, they’re used to hotter weather, so autumn feels nippy this year.

“C’mon, bud, you can pick anything you want.” Felix pushes his son gently in front of the rack of coats, a small smile spread across his face.

“These look e-ex— Daddy, what’s the word again?” Hyunae stubbles over his words.

“Expensive?”

     He nods.

“Don’t worry, Daddy can afford it.” Hyunae still hesitates. “Promise, just go on and get what you like.”

The brunette hesitantly begins looking through the rack, coming to a stop once he finds a pastel blue hoodie. His eyes light up fondly. Felix’s heart swells.

“You want that one?”

Hyunae smiles and nods quickly, holding up the hanger to his father. “Yes, please!”

Felix chuckles, grabbing the hanger from him and checking the price tag and size. While Hyunae looks through the graphic t-shirts hung on a circular rack, he stands in the passageway, and a tall man tries passing through.

“Excuse me, little guy, is it okay if I pass here? One of my friends needs something from that shelf over there.”

Felix remembers that voice clear-as-fucking-day. It’s smooth and velvety with a slight dryness. It gives absolutely anyone warmth, even on the coldest of days. It’s caring and sweet, always minding it’s language as to not hurt others.

     _It’s Chris’ voice._

“Chris? Christopher Bang?” Felix looks up, breathless. It feels like the world has come to a stop, like it’s going to topple off of its axis. He hasn’t seen this man in fourteen years. And god, have those fourteen years treated him well.

Chris’ blonde hair is groomed neatly, swept over his forehead like a wave of sunshine, the dimples in his smile deeper than ever, with warm brown eyes that remind Felix of hot chocolate on Christmas Eve. Felix has known he was bisexual for years, but he hasn’t seen a boy this pretty since secondary school, and he’s _twenty-fucking-five_.

Chris looks up from Hyunae, and his smile grows even fonder.

“Felix! How’s it been, mate? Been a while since we’ve talked, huh? About...2011, right?”

God, Felix feels like he’s fucking _melting_.

“I-I’m good! And yeah, it has been a while.”

“How’s Myeong? She’s a poet now, yeah?”

Felix’s throat tightens, a pricking sensation beginning to wake in his glassy eyes. He remembers having to deliver food to her late at night because she would spend so much time in her study, writing until her hands ached and she ran out of lead, eraser shavings on the floor.

“She..um...She passed...in 2021..of maternal mortality...”

Chan’s joyful expression drops like a china vase against a marble floor, memories scattering like broken porcelain.

“I’m sorry, Lix...I know how much she meant to you..” He places a hand on Felix’s shoulder, a soft smile gracing his features.

Smiling back, Felix tries lightening the mood, gesturing to his son.

“That’s Hyunae, he’ll be five this year.”

The boy doesn’t turn from the rack he’s looking through, looking hilariously serious as he shuffles through the shirts, earning a chuckle from the two men.

“He has her eyes.” Chris comments, his gaze fond.

“Honestly, I see her a bit more everyday through him.” Felix whispers softly.

“Yo, Chris, how long does it take to get a pair of jeans?”

The two men whip around to see a brunette man walking towards them, his features consisting of soft eyes and chubby cheeks.

Chris smiles and laughs sheepishly.

“Sorry, man, I caught up with an old friend of mine. This is Felix, one of my friends from secondary school. Felix, this is Jisung, another friend of mine.”

Felix smiles, “Nice to meet you, Jisung. How long have you two known each other?”

“About...six years now?” Chris inquires, getting a confirming nod from Jisung.

Felix feels small hands cling to his jeans once again, and he smiles softly on reflex.

“Daddy, I’m hungry, can we get something to eat on the way home?”

“I’m sorry, bub, I don’t have enough money for that right now. I promise I’ll make you something at home, okay?”

Hyunae looks down solemnly, mumbling.

“I’m tired of eating ramen noodles and sandwiches...”

Felix feels his heart pang in his chest, a horrid feeling, guilt. He had it nice growing up, his family was prosperous, he lived in a nice house, he got game consoles every birthday and Christmas. Why couldn’t he give his son that? What was so hard about breaking that damn jar and taking it’s worthless funds?

He could buy his son a meal for once, hell, maybe he could even pay the rent. But Hyunae had to see Myeong’s resting place, he needed to meet the other side of his family, he needed to see where his heritage began.

However, with Hyunae getting sick more often and eating less, Felix doesn’t know how long this can go on.

“You guys have it rough, don’t you?” Chris asks, frowning slightly.

“Since Myeong’s not here, we don’t make nearly as much money. Her writing, along with her novels, could pay rent for an entire year, but since she’s not here to write them, we can’t even pay it for a month.” Felix explains, carding a hand through his son’s long hair. He needs a haircut too, he notes.

“I’ll treat you guys, you deserve it.”

Chris smiles fondly, once again, looking down at Hyunae, who smiles gleefully.

“You don’t have-“

“Felix, that kid deserves a _meal_. I can’t let him starve like that. He has your chubby cheeks but they’re gonna get hollow soon if he doesn’t get some food in his stomach.” Chris whispers insistently, before bending down to eye level with Hyunae. “What do you wanna eat, buddy?”

The child looks at his feet as he thinks, his lips habitually pouting. As soon as he has an answer, he perks up with a smile.

“Teriyaki, please!”

“Just like Myeong.” Chris laughs, recalling her favourite food.

“I gotta pay for this, how about we meet in front of the store in about...15 minutes?” Felix asks, and Chris confirms with a slight nod.

“I have to help Jisung find some new jeans anyways,” He laughs. “I’ll see you in a few, okay?” The older blonde smiles, and before standing up, ruffles Hyunae’s hair affectionately, then walks towards the dressing rooms, where Jisung ran off to a couple minutes ago.

Felix feels his son pull on his hand to get his attention and looks down.

“What’s up, Hyun?”

“Why is your face so red every time you look at Mr. Chris?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chris learns of Felix’s struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM ALIVE BITCHES

“Hyun, slow down. You’re gonna choke yourself.”

“Sorry..”

Felix smiles softly as he watches his son eat, glad he’s finally getting a full meal. He looks up and glances at Chris across the table, mouthing a silent ‘thank you.’ The elder blonde smiles back, kindness spreading through his expression as his dimples create soft craters in his cheeks.

The remnants of their meals sit upon their plates, Hyunae being the only one still going at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

He’s had two plates already, and Felix is sure he’s going to crash once they get home. Less work for him, he supposes.

“So, how did shopping with Jisung go..?” 

Felix asks, hoping to break the somewhat awkward silence between them. 

“Honestly, it was horrible. He kept complaining cause they didn’t have his size.”

Chris doesn’t look annoyed though, more fond than agitated. He rests his cheek against his palm, which makes his plump, heart-like lips squish together a bit. Felix swears his face is the shade of a strawberry. 

“I know the feeling.”

“Yeah...”

And then it’s silent again between them.

It’s Chris’ turn to speak up.

“So, what’re you doing for a living?”

“Well, I-“

“Daddy works for Ms. Nguyen! She’s nice! She gives me rice cakes after school!” Hyunae interrupts, his speech muffled from the noodles stuffed in his cheeks.

Chris laughs, nothing but genuine happiness upon his features. Felix’s cheeks heat up, hotter than they were before.

“I, uh, work at this Asian market close to the house. It’s small but pays well.”

Chris nods, a small smile still etched onto his lips.

“Hey, if it pays, it pays. I know the feeling, man.”

“What about you...? What’re you doing nowadays?”

“Hmm? Oh, Jisung, Changbin and I are in a group right now. That’s why I’m in town, gonna have a show next week.”

Felix’s jaw drops. No wonder Chris looks so groomed, taken care of, he has stylists to do that for him. Chris’ always been into music, he knows that, but he never thought Chris would want to make it big. He was always a humble man, always putting family and friends before himself, so he expected Chris to want to have a subtle career in music, maybe a cover channel on YouTube or something. It’s not that he didn’t want Chris to be successful, he just hadn’t expected him to take such a big leap.

“What? Got a thing for producers?” Chris whispers so Hyunae doesn’t hear. He even fucking winks. Felix swears he’s going to die right then and there. 

“N-No! I mean, yes! I dunno! I just hadn’t expected you to want to get out there, y’know? You were quiet as a kid, well, not that quiet but you get the point.” Felix rambles.

“Cute.”

Chris is flirting with him. Chris, a very rich producer and rapper, is flirting with Felix Lee, a man who can hardly pay his own bills. 

Not that Felix is complaining, or anything.

“Thank you so much, Chris.” 

Felix says as they walk into the cold night, a sleeping Hyunae held securely in his arms, full from the meal they’d been treated to.

“Don’t worry about it, Lix,” 

Chris gives a teasing grin and playfully pulls at the fat of Felix’s cheek. 

“Anything for an old mate of mine.”

Felix swats him away, nearly dropping Hyunae in the process. 

“Lemme hold ‘im. I’ll walk you guys home, okay?”

Chris doesn’t let the younger man utter a single word as he gently takes the child into his arms. Hyunae, still dead asleep, subconsciously wraps his arms around Chris’ neck, earning a quiet chuckle from the blonde. 

As the trio makes their way home, it’s quiet, just as it was in the restaurant, before Chris speaks up. 

“I’m proud of you, Felix.”

The said man looks up at his childhood friend, who has the fondest, most loving expression on his face. He swears there’s some red blossoming there too.

“C-Come again?”

“I said, ‘I’m proud of you.’”

“...For what exactly..?”

“Let’s wait till we get the kid in bed first, then we’ll talk.”

Chris doesn’t say anything after that, but he grabs Felix’s hand once, squeezes, and lets go. 

Felix doesn’t say anything either, but he wants to grab Chris’ hand again, feel that certain burning warmth that he hasn’t felt in what feels like ages. That warmth, love, is such a foreign feeling to him now.

 

Once they’re at Felix’s apartment, he dresses his son in fresh clothes and tucks him into bed, closing the door silently behind him with a sigh.

When he walks out of the hallway and into the dining room, he immediately freezes.

Chris is looking upon the heaps of envelopes, overdue bills and fees. 

Felix begins to scramble around the table, collecting all of the envelopes and letters into one pile to rid the embarrassing stationery from the table’s surface. 

“S-sorry, I was working on these t-this morning, I-I-I swear-“

“Felix, it’s fine. I know it’s hard for you.”

But it’s not hard , Felix wants to scream,  It’s just that i’m saving up for a trip for my son to see my dead ex-wife in Korea and I prioritize that above all my bills.

“I suppose we should resume our conversation from earlier.”

 

“So, you’re trying to get Hyunae to Korea to see Myeong?”

Felix nods, curled up into one corner of the couch, Chris sitting in the other. The elder blonde nods his head towards the direction of the glass jar on the counter. 

“So that’s what that’s for.”

Felix nods again, not knowing what to say at this point. He’s never told anyone about his financial struggles due to not wanting to die of embarrassment. How can a rich boy who danced in his school days go from getting everything he wants to barely being able to afford a meal for himself?

“Why don’t your parents help you with-“

“I don’t talk to them anymore.”

“Right...”

And it’s silent again.

Felix begins to hate silence.

“I’ll help you.”

The younger man waves his hands around, his expression completely awestruck.

“No, man, it’s fine, really. I can handle myself.”

“But can you handle Hyunae?”

“Don’t bring him into this.”

Felix knows Chris only uses this tone of voice when he’s trying to prove a point, a point that is most likely correct. 

“Felix, please, you know what’ll happen if this goes on.”

Then there’s that godforsaken silence again.

“...I just want him to meet her...just once.”

Felix doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feel’s Chris cup his cheeks, wiping away fallen tears. It just makes him break down more. Chris pulls him into his embrace, running a comforting hand through his hair. The younger man sobs and hiccups, choking on breath he can’t catch.

“Hey, it’s okay..I know, I know...” Chris whispers lovingly in his ear.

Felix doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but all he remembers is Chris’ voice, soothing and comforting.

“I’m proud of you...I’m sure she is, too.”


End file.
